How To Keep A Girl Interested Through Text: Excite Her with Words

by Anne B. Robinson

New conversations about changing gender norms and compatibility between sexes have replaced the dominance that tradition held over courtship and gender roles. Now, the good news is that you’re free to explore relationships without any hard and fast rules.

But the bad news is that it’s become much more complicated. However, arguably, one of the key determinants for a man to be able to keep a girl interested today is his texting game. Here are some useful tips on how to keep a girl interested through text.

#1. Using Memes

Beyond how to keep a girl interested through text, keeping your conversations fun and entertaining also matters. And memes help keep anyone interested. But there are many kinds of memes, so you need to be careful who you’re sending them to.

A lot of memes do not pull punches when they’re trying to be shocking or offensive for humor, and not everyone appreciates that.

For a girl you don’t know too well, only send your best and least offensive memes. Try relatable content and memes. Humor blended with satire will strike a reflective chord with a lot of ladies.

If you get a “lol,” “lmao,” or laughing emojis, maybe send 1 or 2 more. But do not spam her inbox with memes in one go. If she sends you a meme back, that’s a sign you’re hitting it off.

#2. Writing How You Talk — Just More Punchy

You can’t be one person while texting and a completely different person when you’re on the phone or meeting in person. Try to text the way you naturally talk and use words you normally would in speech. Maybe with a few small modifications.

Girls admire confidence in men, although there’s a thin line between confidence and conceit that you should be mindful of. But what this means is that, in your texting game, don’t let the conversation run dry.

If you need time to think about what to say next, take it. The advantage of texting is that you don’t have to respond immediately, so you can plan out what you’re going to say and see how it sounds before saying it.

You need to be on point and concise with your words when you’re discussing subjects. Include some wit or humor to spice things up, and don’t be afraid to casually flirt a little. They can tell when you’re into them, and there’s a good chance they already know. So don’t be afraid to show it, but remember to do it with subtlety.

#3. Not Over-analyzing Her

not over-analyzing her

Girls can get nervous, overzealous, or confused too when it comes to dealing with someone they like. They’re every bit as likely to make a faux pas, especially during texting.

Your goal is to make her feel more comfortable around you. Over-analyzing her comments or her as a person accomplishes the exact opposite. Over-analyzing someone you haven’t known for too long can also be really patronizing, not to mention presumptuous.

#4. Asking Questions, Not Making Statements

The person you’re talking to is another human being with their own unique life story. When you’re texting, you should try your best to keep the conversation as focused on her as you can.

Ask her interesting and thought-provoking questions to show her that you’re trying to get to know her on a deeper level. There will be plenty of time to discuss your own life, too, but until you’re asked, try to refrain from talking too much about yourself.

#5. Being Casual *Think Twitter*

Consider this the number one rule of texting girls. Yes, everybody wants to find love, settle down, and enjoy a long-lasting blissful romance. But you need to give romance time to grow spontaneously.

If you make allusions towards the two of you getting married and having kids too soon, it’s going to seem like you’re just trying to take control of the entire relationship.

#6. Disagreeing


If the girl you’re texting ever says something that doesn’t sit right with you or is maybe even a jest directed at you, just let it go and laugh it off. Seeing as you have not shared her lived experiences, there are bound to be moments of discord where you may not understand something she said.

Try to understand where she’s coming from or why she said something, as opposed to latching on to those words and trying to debunk them. People who always want to be right are generally a huge turnoff.

#7. Talking About “We”

After a while of texting back and forth when some kind of rapport has been established, try to use “we” as much as possible in a way that isn’t too forward. For instance, “Wish we could travel back in time to see the Eiffel Tower being built” or “Do you think we’ll ever be able to share dreams?”

Notice the “we” in these examples do not refer to the two of you specifically. But the very mention of “we” makes people feel like a part of the conversation. Saying “we” will make her feel more involved in whatever you’re talking about. “I” just makes it seem like you’re rambling about yourself.

#8. Not Setting a Date/Place/Time to Meet

It’s true that the end goal of texting is to meet and start officially dating. However, you need to understand that some women just need more time to be certain.

Wait for the right moment or a sign to take your shot. Don’t be assertive about the date, place, or time to meet. Plan a few things before you go out on a date, but you should let that planning happen organically. Some men believe it’s their job to dictate the time and place of each date, which is something a lot of women dislike. It completely excludes their preferences.

#9. Matching The Length of Her Text Messages

matching the length of her text messages

If you’re only receiving short-to-medium-length texts, don’t type an essay back. You want to give the other person time to feel comfortable enough to talk more. Too much chatter from your end can come off too strong.

Your texts should match her pace and length, so it doesn’t seem like you’re trying to rush your way into a date or relationship with her. If you have a lot to say, let it wait until she starts opening up more. That way, you’re not putting anyone in an uncomfortable position.

#10. Avoiding Emojis If She Doesn’t Reciprocate

If you’ve used emojis more than 2-3 times without receiving any back, stop using emojis. Try to match the style of conversation the girl is more interested in.

Too many emojis suggest over-excitement. You’ll just end up coming on too strong, which is rarely considered attractive.

#11. Being Cheeky

Don’t be Mr. Goody Two-Shoes all the time. It’s not attractive; rather, it feels kind of robotic. Be a little cheeky, have some banter, and don’t be afraid to make a few light-hearted jokes at your or her expense, too. It’s a thin line though; make sure you don’t sound insulting.

Wit and sarcasm suggest intelligence, boldness suggests confidence, and carefulness with words suggests emotional maturity. These are 3 qualities most women find charming in men.

#12. Responding To Her Tests Fearlessly

responding to her tests fearlessly

Women test men all the time; it’s no secret. They want to make sure you’re respectful, trustworthy, and have good character. They’re so good at doing this that it’s beyond the scope of this blog to tell you what the test is going to look like.

It could come in the form of trick questions, pretend scenarios, dare games, deliberately offensive remarks to see how you’ll react, questions about past relationships, and how you view your ex. Be prepared for anything and respond with both honesty and consistency.

#13. Not Always Being Available

You may think that being available on text at a girl’s beck and call will make you seem more attractive, reliable, or trustworthy, but you would be wrong. It often comes off as needy and may also suggest you have nothing important going on.

Now, this does not mean waiting a whole day before responding to her texts. It just means space out your response time a bit more and maybe try to match her.

#14. Leave Her with A Smile

Try to end as many conversations as possible on a high note. It may be tempting to want to keep a girl laughing, but you keep running the risk of losing your carefully earned high note.

Talking to you should be a refreshing experience that always ends with a smile on her face. This will make her look forward to talking to you again.

A Few Parting Words

Texting is a slippery slope. One mistake can be your last. But if you keep these tips in mind, these mistakes can be easily avoided. Not all women play hardball; many will show you some leniency from time to time, but you should always try to keep your texting game at its finest.

And most importantly, never forget these three big Rs of how to keep a girl interested through text — Respectful, Relaxed, and Reciprocating.

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