9 Signs He Pretends to Love You

by Anne B. Robinson

Love provides a steady float of intimacy, commitment, and passion in any relationship.

However, if your lover doesn’t make you feel that way and your intuition is telling you something’s off, maybe he’s just pretending to love you.

You don’t want to get stuck with a false pretense, do you?

Of course, you can always just confront him directly. However, if that doesn’t work, looking out for the common signs that he pretends to love you can help you gauge things for yourself.

What Are the Unmistakable Signs He Pretends to Love You?

Here are some of the common signs that could indicate that someone is just faking his love for you:

1. He Ignores You in Private

Do you feel like your boyfriend is deeply in love with you when you’re out in public, but he’s cold and mentally absent when it’s just you and him? It can be a sign that your lover isn’t serious about you and is just acting up to buff his image.

It’s totally fine to be proud and let the whole world know you’re the love of his life. However, if he can’t make you feel just as special in private, his actions could be just for show.

You might also want to gauge if the mental and emotional connections are just as important as intimacy for him. These aspects are vital for a relationship to be considered healthy and genuine.

2. He’s Always Unavailable and Can’t Find Time for You

We tend to believe that the person who loves us will find time to reach out no matter how tight his schedule is. If he always says he’s busy, he could be just trying to get out of spending quality time with you.

The issue here is that he could be actually busy. However, you won’t be able to know your place in your lover’s life, and you’ll feel like you’re out of the priority list. So, try voicing your concerns and see if that pushes him to put in more effort.

3. You’re the Only One Making the Effort

Maybe it’s your anniversary, but he didn’t even try to surprise you or make you feel special. He might not even try to make things up to you later on.

If this is your case, sad to say, he might have lost his interest in your relationship.

This could also be an indication of one-sided love, and it isn’t good to settle into this kind of dynamic.

4. He Wants to Change Some Things About You

The person who genuinely loves you will accept you for who and what you are.

If your boyfriend is trying to control you and dictate what you should and shouldn’t be doing, we can’t say that he truly loves you. Maybe he’s just in love with the idea of being in a relationship and having a “perfect” girlfriend figure.

This isn’t the kind of relationship you want to commit yourself to, is it?

5. Others Don’t Approve of Your Relationship

Sometimes, when you’re in love, you’re blinded to the indications that say your date isn’t the person you think he is. Yet, your family members and friends may see it, so you have to hear their side and keep an open mind.

Knowing where their objection is coming from will help you confirm whether they have a valid base. This way, you’ll not fall into deception, and you’ll get away from his pretense early on.

6. He Seems Bored When He’s With You

Boredom, according to Psychology Today, is one of the common symptoms of an ending relationship.

If your partner gives you short answers or keeps distracting himself on the phone when he’s with you, it could be a sign he’s just pretending to love you.

You can either try to find shared interests or consider breaking things off.

7. He’s Avoiding Discussion About Your Future Together

This is by far one of the biggest drawbacks to a relationship. When your boyfriend keeps avoiding discussions or questions about your future together, he probably doesn’t see you as “the one.”

If he can’t decide yet, you can’t expect him to make up his mind soon.

Worst, he may just be faking his feelings and waiting for a chance to break things up with you. In that case, you can try confronting him with your feelings so that you don’t waste time and expectations on the wrong person.

8. Your Perspective Is Neglected

Respect is an essential ingredient to a healthy and lasting relationship. Your partner should care about your opinion and your stance on certain matters that involve the two of you.

For instance, suppose both of you were invited for a long weekend vacation, and he immediately said yes without considering if you’ll be fine with it. This indicates that he might be deciding on his own and ignoring your needs.

9. He Cheats and Flirts With Other Girls

A boyfriend who loves you dearly will keep his eyes only on you. However, there are just some who, although already tied in a relationship, will still look for flings.

If your boyfriend does this, it could be a sign he’s just pretending to love you. So, you should gather the guts to break things up and move on.


Perhaps Ed Sheeran was right when he said love could hurt sometimes.

It might be painful for us to know that the person we love isn’t honest about their feelings. However, it’s better to confirm it as soon as possible so we can accept the fact early on.

Keep in mind that it’s okay to stay single, especially if the current relationship is built on one-sided feelings.

Besides, love comes in many different forms, from family to platonic relations. You only need to widen your understanding of love!

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