Bisexual people have their identities questioned by people left and right, and being in a straight relationship can amplify this situation. Unless someone who identifies as bisexual is with someone of the same gender, they will be considered an imposter by many. Not being “gay enough” or “straight enough” is a problem that every bisexual person has encountered at some point in their lives.
Being in a straight relationship as a bisexual person can sometimes be confusing, especially when this is all you hear from the people around you. Finding ways to connect with your identity and true self is important, especially in this situation. Here are some things that affect a bisexual person in a straight relationship.
Coming out as bisexual to your partner
If you haven’t come to terms with your sexual identity before the start of this relationship, you might be thinking about coming out to your partner. This can be very difficult to do, especially if your partner is straight and doesn’t have a good idea of what it means to be bisexual.
Some people might think you are going to break up with them or that you don’t find them attractive anymore. While this can impact certain relationships, keeping who you are a secret can also be just as damaging. Therefore, the best thing you can do is be open and honest with your partner and let them know how you feel.
Finding yourself stuck in the middle
As mentioned previously, one of the most common issues bisexual people in straight relationships face is being in the middle of two communities. On the one side, there are people who will let you know you are not “gay enough”. If you find yourself in a relationship with a person of the same sex, you might be deemed not “straight enough”.
This happens more frequently than it should, and it can make the person at the center of this feel very isolated from their peers. Not knowing how you feel about these ideas and starting to question your own identity can be very draining mentally. The best thing you can do is talk about this with your partner or someone else you truly trust and who won’t judge you.
Talking about how you feel and your point of view on this will help you feel a lot more comfortable with your own sexual identity. Just because you are not dating someone of the same sex, or even if you have never dated someone of the same sex, doesn’t mean that you are not bisexual.
Dating, in general, is hard, especially when you’re in the minority, and there are fewer LGBTQ+ people than straight people. Being able to connect with someone is hard, and many don’t understand why finding love can be tough for an LGBTQ+ person. Online dating apps like Taimi make things a lot easier, but sometimes, you might meet an amazing person at a completely unexpected time.
It is important to accept that this is part of you and simply remind yourself that it is okay to be who you are. Finding your identity and understanding things about yourself is so important in being in a good mental state and can help you live a happier life with your partner.
People assume things about your relationship
No matter what kind of relationship you choose to be in, other people will always have an opinion on it. There are so many different things bisexual people have to listen to from other people explaining things about their own relationship.
One thing that is always coming up is talking about their bisexuality like it’s a phase. People will be confused about whether you stopped being bisexual, especially those who weren’t supportive of it in the first place. You might hear people say they are glad you ended up with a person of the opposite sex, and others will be confused as to why you are not gay anymore.
Other people might think you are closeted and using this relationship as a way to hide from the world. There are also those who will believe that you and your partner are in an open relationship or love to invite more people into the relationship. Some might even question your partner’s sexuality too.
Along with those, friends who are members of the LGBTQ+ community too might make you feel like you are abandoning the community by dating someone of the opposite sex. This can put even more of a strain on your mental health, especially if you are in a loving, long-term relationship.
At the end of the day, though, there is only one explanation for this. People will never be happy with how you choose to live your life. Someone will always have something negative to comment on anything you do and try to insert themselves in any situation that doesn’t affect them.
The best strategy for dealing with these people is to cut them out of your life. If it is causing you more stress to be around them, make sure that you set boundaries and keep a healthy distance. Keeping judgmental people around is not worth it when you have to question your identity or put a strain on your current relationship.
Reminding yourself that your bisexuality is valid
Being in a straight relationship as a bisexual person can be difficult, especially when those around you seem to have no understanding of how one’s sexual identity works. Reminding yourself that you are valid as a bisexual person is important, and this is something you should discuss with your partner from the start.
As long as you have the support you need from your relationship, you should only focus on working on yourself and the bond with the person you’re with. Everyone else’s opinion of your love life and who you are as a person should not play an important role in your everyday life. Put yourself and the one you love first and ignore the certain negativity people come with; it’s not worth your time or energy.
